Friday, 21 December 2012

Criticism of "The importance of oral servitude"

When I created this blog some two years ago I did so hoping to create debate. To be honest I never achieved that aim.  It's probably a combination of my lack of literary skills and that this blog is mainly read by like minded people. I do receive e-mails that are sometimes abusive but no real argument based in them other than "I'm evil and won't go to heaven" or "I'm a disgrace to the male race"

I think all blog writers enjoy receiving comments on their posts, I'm no exception. I don't get many comments and I have not as yet had a challenging one, until now. Below is a comment left after I wrote "The importance of oral servitude"

                   "Regarding this - "It is rare to find a Domme who will insist you pleasure her orally"
and this -
"Ladies, if you're reading this and your man has been coming up short then show him this and push his head down."
Do you actually account for the fact at all that some Ladies simply do not like receiving oral service?
Don't assume what every woman likes, just because it is part of your fantasy.Don't presume to know what we all want, and do not tell us what we should do.

It would have been nice if this hadnt have been posted anonymously, anonymity lessens an argument, I don't expect a real name. I cyber identity like mine would have done. However I will try to reply.

"It is rare to find a Domme who will insist you pleasure her orally"
and this -

I fully understand the reasons why Dommes, and remember I was referring to Pro Dommes don't offer this service and those reasons go way beyond wether they like receiving oral or not. I made it very clear that I have never asked for this service from a pure Pro Domme. I never will.

"Ladies, if you're reading this and your man has been coming up short then show him this and push his head down."

This sentence never stereotyped all women as loving receiving oral service. If a lady does not enjoy oral then she would never have considered that her man was coming up short in this area. It certainly was not telling you what you should do. It was meant to be tongue in cheek really. It most certainly was not telling you what to do, no more than "brush your teeth with Colgate". If you don't like Colgate you won't. 

You only have to read my blog to know that I never assume that any one body of people will all like the same things. My love of CP has been with me all my life and I have subsequently learned that I greatly enjoy other aspects of BDSM play. However I wouldn't like adult baby play, I don't have a foot tetish, cuckholdery saddens me, needle play terrofies me and scat and smoking play makes me want to vomit. However as I consistently say, if you enjoy these and it's consensual then great. I think no different regarding oral servitude. When I say the importance of oral servitude I mean in regards to myself.

Don't assume what every woman likes, just because it is part of your fantasy

I don't. In fact that's all this blog is. A chronical of my fantasies. Even when I'm telling a tale of a real session I never lose sight of the fact that all I did was live out a fantasy.  Only once have I ever offered myself up for a real un-pleasant experience and even that was selfish as it was to rid myself of guilt. 

I'm not anyone's real slave, no Domme loves me, in fact I wouldn't mind betting that many don't even like me. There have been only two Mistresses/disciplinarians who I've just handed total control over to and both of them in the last 14 months but even that is not real slavery is it ? Neither of them would do an act to me that I absolutely despised. I know some submissives thrive on the slave angle and would literally do anything Mistress asked but the Domme knows that from the outset.

Again one only has to read some of my postings to know how tuned in I am to the fantasy angle. Remember I'm the guy that questions if FLRs truly exist, as opposed to like minded people thoroughly enjoying a fetish together. That's why when I read FLR blogs I don't care if they are real or not.

I kept my post " The importance of oral servitude" in my draft file for months. I was always reluctant to post it because I thought it might be a bit distasteful ( excuse the pun ) but this blog is a reflection of my desires. Oral servitude is one of them.

In a nut shell, I know not all women like oral and I don't assume otherwise. I'm fully aware I feed my fantasies via this blog.

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

A big thank you to the CP, FLR and BDSM community

I wanted to take this opportunity to say a big thank you to many people, both professional and lifestyle alike for the e-mails and support I've had during what has been a difficult and testing year. The E-mails were great. I seem to have made many American acquaintances.

I would particularly like to thank three Dommes who know who they are. Each were fantastic during my recent twist in events. One lady even phoned me, another was lovely and another supportive beyond the call of duty.

To think "the others" think we are the weird ones.

Top of the table !

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

The importance of oral servitude.

Those in FLR relationships will already be well versed in the importance of this in true submission. It is a display of selflessness. It breaks the stereotype of the male only interested in his own pleasure. It puts the Woman's needs ahead of his, which is the ultimate aim of most of us true submissives. It is a display of love that says "I respect your needs" It's a gentle act and one I get great satisfaction out of when the result is a happy and satisfied Lady.

I think it is in this area most where I envy those in FLR relationships. It is rare to find a Domme who will insist you pleasure her orally and on all occasions I've had the pleasure during a session it has always been a surprise. Except for my visits to the London Retreat which specialises in intimate Femdom I have never asked for it.
We obviously never really know if an FLR blog is true or not but at least some must be and I'm yet to read one that doesn't have oral pleasure at it's corner stone, along with punishment in it's many forms. I'm not into the cuckhold scene at all but even there it appears large and strong. In my normal life when I get the opportunity to give oral I naturally do it in a very submissive way, my partner at the time may not know of my submissive tendancies but that doesn't stop me from treating her like a goddess and ensuring her pleasure however long it takes. It is the only area of normal "vanalla" sex that has a natural crossover for me. Perhaps that's why I like it so much as it gives me the opportunity to be who I really am sexually during normal sex.
My two fictional characters on this blog "Jill & Steve" have oral servitude as part of their lifestyle. Obviously really as I write it and all those stories are only a reflection of my fantasies and desires anyway.
Only a short and brief post I know but it gives you an idea of what is in my wonderfully perverted little mind. Any of you men reading this who are in an FLR who have just realised that they might have been a bit neglectful in this department I suggest you take a trip downstairs tonight and FLR Ladies, if you're reading this and your man has been coming up short then show him this and push his head down.
As for me ? Well I have my last session of the year booked for next week but because of a personal dissaster that is likely to be my last for a few months. Sad I know but eh, I still have my DESIRES.


Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Abstinence and the bathbrush

Just over a week ago I booked a session with a Domme I had sessioned with once before. I could name her as she doesn't mind and regular readers will easily work out who this great lady is but the selfish side of me wants to keep the identity half hidden at least.

At the point of booking the session I was instructed to abstain from masturbation for one week. I'm not an habitual masturbator so I thought this would be easy but I was sadly wrong. Just not choosing to masturbate and being instructed not to are as I've learnt two very different things. It was hell, by day 5 the advert below which I saw a 20 foot high version of nearly every day was driving me insane.I was also told I was to take her watersports. Oh I couldn't wait.

Day seven arrived and I found my self in a small clearing by some trees not far from Mistress' house, I was slowly breathing and getting my frame of mind from dull life to my subbie life. Then it was time to see Ma'am.

It was lovely to see this lady again and my sense of submissiveness towards her grew from the moment I entered the door. After catching up with a brief chat it was time for me to suffer and so it began.

Mistress had me up against a cross where she teased me relentlessly. gentle caressing, ice on nipples and genitals and her beauty thrust so close to my face. I yearned to lean forward and kiss her neck or the side of her face but I thought better of it. She rested my head onto her shoulder as she teased my most intimate parts. I was at the point of exploding. I think mistress might have let me come and still carried on with the rest of the session but I kept begging her to stop. I had a feeling that she wouldn't let a session go by without some form of CP because she enjoys it so much and I didn't fancy CP or watersports post orgasm. As I will explain later this might of been my undoing.

From the cross I was instructed to lay on my back. I saw Ma'am gather a bathbrush and ruler shaped but very thick spanking implement they looked painful. I knew nothing yet. My legs were hoisted into the air and I was soon in the diaper position but not for spanking, well not directly anyway. Ma'am inserted a finger into me and played with my prostate, Oh boy. She said "we need to get all that sperm into the balls" cruel words indeed as you will find out.

Now I need to explain something. I love CP, no surprises there but what I like is a slow build up from mild hand spanking to severe caning. All CP delivered cold is genuine punishment for me, as you know I subjected myself to it last December to heal a wound and it worked. That was a caning from hell but worse for me is a cold hairbrushing and that my friends is exactly what Mistress gave me.

It was murderous and the look of determination on Ma'am's face told me this wasn't going to be easy. The more I wriggled the worse it became til at one point it was only my head and shoulders on the sofa. Where Mistress got the strength from I don't know but she held on and spanked with those two terrible implements. I was wishing I had kissed her on the cross. I was hurting like I had.

I begged her to stop but she said "I decide when your punishment is over not you" eventually however she instructed me to lay on my front. Ma'am clearly wanted to spank me some more but she did ask me if "I needed more" I didn't, I was in agony but I really wanted to earn Ma'am's watersports so I agreed.

Eventually the spanking stopped. The only upside was the spanking was carried out in my favourite diaper position, other than that it was a very painful punishment. Ma'am then sat down and put my head on her lap, I was there for ages, long after I had calmed down from the punishment and that itself took ages.

After a while Ma'am started to talk to me, the conversation became very emotional, she pressed the right buttons and before I knew it I was in tears, lots of them. It was surreal and humbling. I'm sure you'll all understand if I don't tell you the content of the conversation.

And that was it, there was no watersports, there was no orgasm. So what do I think of that ? This Mistress is beginning to captivate me, it's only the second time that's happened, ironically two years on the trot now and both in December. It was fine, I'm a submissive, I turn up with desires not a shopping list, just like normal life really where circumstance dominates the outcome. In this case Mistress dominated the outcome.

I asked her for permission to masturbate this morning. My abstinence was for her pleasure so I felt the need for her permission to break it. It was granted. I'm sane again.

I said earlier in the year I was looking to have just one Domme in my life.

Maybe, just maybe.

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Governess Ely

My fetish life took a surprise trip out of the M25 last week to finally meet a Domme who I had chatted with on Twitter for some time. I was really looking forward to this session and my anticipation was rewarded with a great afternoon in this lovely lady's company.

Miss Ely has kindly given me permission to name her in this blog. I love a domestic setting for my sessions and this real life house setting was perfect. I'm always nervous on a first session but Mistress made it really easy with her outgoing and chatty personality.

The last thing I want to do is turn this into a Mistress review site and whilst I will give blow by blow accounts on un-named sessions I don't wish to do that do named Dommes. I will however tell you about it's highlight.
Readers of this blog will be aware of how much I enjoy the American named diaper position. During this session Mistress ordered me to lay flat on my back. Oddly I didn't know what she had in mind at first until she returned to the side of me with a hairbrush tucked under her arm. I then knew. Mistress just stood there rubbing something into her hands, it seemed to take forever as the anticipation grew inside of me. Finally my legs were hoisted upwards, I suffered the embarrassment of the exposure that position yields and the nightmare of seeing every action of Ma'am's arm as she began the punishment. It was painful, submission was complete and couldn't help but keep eye contact.

I genuinely loved this session and can't wait to see Mistress again, I suppose it's good she is not in London or I could form an addiction. I always judge a Domme by how quickly I fall into total submission. Readers now that I found one Domme who only has to look at me for that to happen, well let me tell you, Governess Ely is not that far behind. By the time I had stood up from the opening OTK I was willing to do anything Mistress commanded. If I had to sum up Miss Ely in one word it would be "real". She is absolutely genuine.

This session was CP only, I can't wait to see what unfolds in later session but that of course is up to Mistress.

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Re-called to school

I recently attended a school day with 8 other naughty boys. This won't be a long post due to not wanting to compromise the confidentiality of the other participants.

It was a superb afternoon organised to maticulous detail by two wonderful ladies in an excellent setting. The scenario took the assumption that we were the adults that we are re-called to the reformatory  for remedial training in etiquette, behaviour and respect. We were all soundly punished and left with stripes to remind us of lessons re-learned.

This is only the second time I have interacted with spankees. It was very interesting to see how us 'students' interacted with each other. When school first started there was an uncomfortable air but with one exception by the time the last bell rang we were pretty much one group of like minded people. I still prefer the one to one or more to the point me being the only sub sessions but never the less this was good. 

Thanks again to the Ladies in charge, you made it a fun day.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Cum eating, butt plugs, oh and that place just off of Tottenham Court Rd

There is a dungeon/playrooms in a one way street just off the north end of Tottenham Court Rd. I would imagine that anyone active in the session scene in London will know where I'm talking about. What sticks out about this venue is the number of different Dommes that have used it. Even my regular London Mistress used this place between moving her own premises. In fact I had two great sessions with her in the living room area. The only times I've been upstairs. Loving the strict wife scene it was ideal fo me. Off the top of my head I can think of 9 different Dommes I've sessioned with there, from the early days everything was painted silver, through the Mistress Claire era (where is she know ?) up to the most recent where I met for the first time the best Domme/disciplinarian I've ever know. I haven't got a clue who is using it now but I bet I'll find out soon enough.

The venue has been the location for two "firsts" for me too. Here are they are, treats that awaited at the foot of the metal staircase.


Cum eating

I had never indulged in this activity before a visit to see a Russian Domme in this basement Dungeon. I was stood in a star shape, my arms hanging from the rope that was attached to leather cuffs and my legs in turn cuffed and spread. My backside was raw from it's thrashing when Mistress approached me and made me a deal. Slowly she caressed my balls and started to rub my cock. she explained she would take me all the way but the cost was to be me eating my own mess. I was too aroused to pull out and agreed readily. She informed me if I failed to do so she would punch my balls hard. Mistress dis-appeared from sight as she crouched down and got to work. I came quickly, my sperm all skillfully collected in a very small plastic saucer. Mistress raised it to my mouth, she told me to lick it off but not swallow. I did as I was told. She laughed as she told me to open my mouth so she could see. I then had to swirl it around in my mouth before swallowing.

I have indulged in this practise a few times since in various ways with supervised masturbation, vibrating machines and as described above. If done well by the Domme it is a wonderful form of submission but if not it's terrible. The idea of cum eating is great when horny but post orgasm it doesn't seem such a good idea. A good Domme could make you beg to consume your own mess even post cum.


Butt plug

A Domme I had visited a few times in this dungeon suggested it for a session. I wasn't too sure about this but I was willing to try. I'm glad I did. Hetro-sexual anal can as I found out be fun.

First Ma'am left a rope around my neck and told me to bend, very slowly she inserted the butt plug, at first it was fine but it hurt a bit as it expanded and when it broke through and my arse sealed itself onto it. She then pulled the rope between my legs and back up to the back of my neck. it was then tied off so that the rope was ensuring the plug was going nowhere.

With that in place we went on with the CP aspect of the session. As I was being given a sound paddle spanking OTK. I could feel the plug rubbing against my prostate. How I didn't come in her lap I'll never know.

Again I've repeated this many times since. Well it's a bit of fun. Isn't it ?

Friday, 3 August 2012

The Visitor (a fiction story)

Continuation of the Jill and Steve series;-

The visitor

Kate was Jill's best friend, they had known each other since high school, Kate was married to Don. Jill and Steve had spent much time in each others company but not so much recently since
Jill had confided in Kate about their lifestyle. It was ill advised as Kate then told Don and whenever they met Don just teased Steve about it. Steve, the bigger and stronger of the two men became aware he was not far from reacting violently to this teasing and found it best to avoid him. Jill however had somehow found it in her heart to forgive Kate for her breach of confidence, something Steve admired Jill for but wondered how she achieved it.

Kate returned home from a Saturday morning coffee with Kate and started to converse with Steve in the kitchen.

Were you aware Kate found out Don had been to a massage parlour ?

No. Steve added, I hardly speak to him and never independently. I take it they are finished then ?

Well no. Kate actually went to see the woman.

Never ? Steve replied laughing.

Apparently they had a calm conversation, the girl said she could tell it was Dons first time ever because he was so nervous.

What that cocky bastard ? Steve questioned.

Apparently he just had what she described as hand relief.

Yeah that's posh for a hand job. Steve sarcastically stated.

There was a slight pause, enough for a sip of the coffee Steve had made, then Steve asked,

so what's happening about it then, surely she isn't leaving it at that ?

There was a greater pause before Jill replied

She wants me to punish him.

Why doesn't she do it ? asked Steve

Remember me in the early days Steve ? fumbling around with silly slippers, no idea how to swing a cane. can you imagine having to deal with something this serious without the experience.

Jill continued,

Steve, I know I lead this marriage but I do want your blessing on this. Kate also wants you to be there to witness, she thinks it will add to his humiliation and go some way to paying you back for the teasing and breach of trust.

I just have one rule, Steve replied, Whilst I think he should be naked for this I don't want him over your knee, it's too intimate.

Oh no not at all Steve. In fact Kate has already asked for the maximum 32 cane strokes that you get on serious breaches of behaviour.

32? Steve almost spilt his coffee. He won't take it Jill, he has never been caned.

I know. I said the same. I told Kate that must be full force punishment strokes. We have agreed on 24 with extras for non compliance.

Ok, when is this happening ?

Tomorrow at 1

SUNDAY 12:50

The doorbell rang and Jill went to the door, Kate and Don entered the main living room followed by Jill. Steve was sat side on to the dining room table with a pad and pen. Placed on the coffee table was Jill's heavy dragon punishment cane. Don had not yet noticed it. Jill allowed just enough time for Don to feel awkward but then went to work.

I know Kate has told you why you are here and the fact that you have come I will take as your acceptance of the punishment you about to receive. Now take all of your clothes off, and I mean all and stand facing the wall with your hands on your head. I want that done in under one minute.

Don seemed to take forever, he pealed his clothes off and approached the wall in a way that everyone in the room could only see his naked backside. It took him one minute and 10 seconds. Steve sensed this wouldn't be good for him. Jill left him facing the wall for about two minutes before picking up the cane from the coffee table and barking her second set of orders.

Turn and face me Don keeping your hands firmly on your head.

Don turned slowly, every sense in his body was working three times faster than normal. He could see Steve sat at the table, he glanced at his wife sat on the sofa but what he noticed the most was his wife's best friend stood in front of him like he had never seen her before.

Steve, Jill and even Kate immediately looked directly if not momentarily to Dons penis, it's a natural reaction. Steve could immediately see that Don was not at all aroused by this scene.

Jill took control.

I'm not here to judge you Don, I'm here to administer the punishment your wife has seen fit. During the punishment you will address your wife and myself only as Ma'am. Steve will not be interactive but just observe and record extras. I will explain extras in a moment. It is important for you to remember Don that Steve's presence is an integral part of your punishment. In a moment i will instruct you to bend over that chair and place both hands firmly on the seat. You are to receive 24 strokes of the cane, if your hands leave the chair or your feet leave the floor you will receive an extra stroke. I do not expect you to be silent because that will be impossible although you may not want the neighbours to hear what's happening to you, as Steve will tell you I don't care if they hear so it's up to you. Kate will count the strokes. You failed to get undressed and at the wall in one minute so you already have one extra. It is also important you remember when receiving the extras that they are not for your marital shortcoming but they are a direct punishment from me to you for non compliance.

Steve noted down the Extra while Jill continued.

Do you understand ?

Yes Ma'am Don nervously replied

Good, now get bent over that chair and be quick.

Don moved swiftly to the chair his stomach like a stone, over the years he had witnessed Steve's obedience to Jill and he knew something powerful was driving that and he knew he was going to find out what.

Move your legs further apart and bend lower in the chair please Don. Jill ordered

As his legs moved apart his balls came in view, vulnerable but as very male spankee knows: safe. His backside moved higher as he lowered further over the back of the chair. Kate moved to the side of Don. There was a silence, then a swish, then a scream, then the number one exiting Kate's vocal chord's, the punishment had begun.

Don was in agony and he knew there was no way he would take it all. What he didn't now is that he would. All punishments are completed eventually and this would be no different but for now he protested.

Please Kate I will never ever do that again

One extra barked Jill I told you to address your wife as Ma'am

Steve had already written it down and was shaking his head at Don's early error.

Kate was in a kind of trance counting out the strokes. Don had hurt her, she didn't feel at all bad that she was hurting him back even if by proxy. By the time the sixth stroke struck Don was sniffling and shaking, Kate wanted him bawling.

Jill wanted to up the ante a bit so her seventh stroke landed perfectly in the soft "sit spot" it was the first one into the sit spot and Don howled. His left leg bent and his heal almost hit his backside. a quick word from Jill to Steve and it was written down. He was now on 3 extras.

A word of advice Don, don't try to get use to the strokes, they have different pain feeling across all areas. always assume the next stroke will be unbearable and your less likely to move.

Steve also listened to Jill's advice to Don, she had never said that to him. it was good advice and something she had learnt at the expense of his own backside. Kate was still angry and hoping each stroke was torturous.

Jill didn't let up and the seventh went full force below the sit spot. This stroke was the stroke to start the tears. Don held his physical composure but not his mental composure, both Jill and Steve knew the punishment had now started for real.

Jill was realising that she was punishing Don absolutely emotionless. she loved Steve and had been known to shed a tear whilst punishing him but this was cold, her emotions all went to her best friend who had been wronged. She arrived at stroke 12 fully in control.

As stroke 15 flew into a howling recipients backside Jill started to notice a change in the sound of Kate's voice during the counting, as Kate counted 16 she was actually crying. Jill knew at this point she had an incredible responsibility on her hands, this wasn't just punishing Don it was healing Kate and as if a jolt hit her Jill stepped up the pace putting an incredibly powerful 17th stroke firmly in the sit spot, so hard Don stood up.

One extra, get yourself back over that chair !

It was no surprise to Steve at all as he observed Don openly bawling his eyes out and continually repeating the words "sorry Ma'am I'm so sorry" Steve knew he meant it now, it wasn't an attempt to get Jill to stop either, the words weren't directed to Jill anyway. Jill was swinging the cane but Don was under no illusion that it was anyone other than Kate that had issued the punishment. Steve had gained some respect for Don, his crying was a sign of his manhood not a weakness, he knew that Don could never tease him again and he was ready to forgive him. He started to think how it might be that Jill forgave Kate.

After stroke 23 Jill addressed both Don and Kate.

You have one more appointed stroke left. I want your last stroke to remind you of your infraction towards your marriage. I am going to give you your 4 extra strokes first. Remember these are from me to you directly for not fully complying. I want you to count them. If you could step back for these please Kate.

Kate moved away and Jill raised the cane .Don did well, the first 3 landed with a full force on the buttocks, the last with a stinging blow in the sit spot.

Four, I apologise for not complying Ma'am

That's OK now Don, you're level with the house with me but you have one more to take for Kate. Come back now Kate.

Kate returned to Don, this time she cradled his head. All four people in the room knew that the last stroke was heading in the same place as the previous and with brutal force Jill did not disappoint.

A howling Don just managed to hear Jill say it's over now. Both Kate and Don were on there knees hugging each other. Jill and Steve nodded to each other and went into the Kitchen to leave them together, it was well over an hour before Kate and Don emerged.


Do you mind if I go out tonight love ? asked Steve

Of course not love, where are you going ?

Out for a beer with Don Steve replied.

Friday, 27 July 2012

Aunty Penolope and her straps and canes.

Well it seems sessions are like London buses now and two have come along a week apart. Yesterday I posted about my return session of last Friday. Today I can report on another session and have been given permission to name the Domme.

I found LadyP's details on the ITC website Due to my Internet trawling habit I knew that LadyP specialised in Sissy's, which is not my thing however I had no idea she was such an exponent of CP.

We decided on a strict Aunt scenario and I have to say she was outstanding at staying in character. I think I also played the role of the errant nephew ok. There was one aspect of this session I didn't have to act out though; the pain.

My backside is in a hell of a mess, I asked for a proper punishment and that's what I got. There was no hand spanking warm up or any light introduction, the first I knew was a sharp slap of a strap or tawse across my naked backside whilst I stood hands on head facing the wall, just the first 12 strokes took my breath away. Between each set I was told to sit on a wooden stool, I could feel my rear getting more raw between each set as I sat there receiving a superbly given scolding each time. The sets increased to 18 strokes still with various tawses.

By the time we had reached the last Tawse it was announced by Aunty Penelope that I was to receive 12 from each side. Even as I sit here painfully writing this I don't know how I endured those strokes. I was shaking between each painful blow.

My strict Aunt finished the session with a long and painful caning. the last set being 24 swishes with 3 more added for crying. One of the canes was a custom made black cane and was hell; I didn't like that cane much it was more like a walking stick.

I can greatly recommend LadyP, she will adapt CP to any level. I can't complain as I got exactly what I asked for; a punishment, but she will listen to your needs prior to play beginning.

You can find her at this web address but that site largely refers to her sissy activities. For the best discription of her CP beliefs and skills try the personals section of the ITC mag or just call on 07970 183024

Great day. Thanks Aunty P

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Hand, paddle and cane and a great return.

Finally I'm back, I decided to return to the scene with a session at the mercy of my regular London Domme whom I've been visiting for many years. I suppose I always knew it would be this lady I would make my return with.

We decided on the strict wife scenario and we used my absence to our advantage going down the "well over due spanking" route.

Ma'am played her role to perfection. The whole session was like a re-education in the protocols of being spanked and punished. The wall facing position was enforced as was standing firmly to attention during her long and wonderful scolding. Keeping hands and feet in place during punishment was another key demand

As Ma'am entered the room I could feel my heart in my head, it was pounding. I hadn't been spanked for months and I was nervous. I turned and faced my pseudo wife, she looked beautiful but very severe. She began to scold me, she referred to standards slipping and how over due this punishment was, she informed me of what was to come. I wondered if I had made the right choice but little matter now, I was there and I was encapsulated in a false reality.

I was commanded to return to facing the wall. Behind me I could hear things moving and the gentle clatter of wood on wood. I was un deniably excited but also very apprehensive. Finally the command came for me to approach Ma'am. I stood next to her legs, she was sat on a chair, my next move was obvious.

Quickly I was across "my wife's" lap and the hand spanking started. I normally have a firm and well spanked hard backside and hand spanking is normally a very pleasant warm up but months off has seen my arse return to a baby soft state and from spank one the sting was harsh.

After a while I was told to stand. Ma'am then showed me a wooden paddle she had purchased in America. it was like the one below but without the hole in the middle. Quickly I was back across her knee and this vicious implement was visiting my reddened backside, it was hell and soon I found myself in further trouble after my right foot left the ground, it cost me 10 more agonising swats.

With tears flowing and my voice almost incoherent a very coherent Ma'am ordered me to my feet and sent me directly to face the wall. She continued with the never ending scolding. I wondered if she was going to cane me, I was in agony already but I wasn't wondering for long !

I was ordered to put my rubber punishment pants on. I am caned with and without these and let me tell you it hurts more with them on than off because the sting of each stroke is prolonged. I also know when I'm ordered to wear them I'm in for an extended caning. I purchased these years ago because I'm unlucky to bleed quickly when being caned. These pants are a god send, you still mark and I don't care about that but at least your mistress gets to cane without blood everywhere.

Today's caning was 50 strokes, I received 11 extras for foot or hand discrepancies. I didn't do them on purpose either. They were real reactions to real pain. At the end I fell to my knees and placed my arms around Ma'ams waist resting my head against the flat of her abdomen. I was in tears, enjoying the total submission and I was glad to be back.

So what next in my world of perversion? Well something is really tempting me. I have a chance of seeing a wonderful Domme again, one whom I thought was lost to me, but it's not in the environment that I would have liked. Just to see her again would be great. What to do eh?

Monday, 9 July 2012

The Return

In the next few weeks I will probably have my first session since the Dana Kane delight. I've only sessioned that  once since my accident and although I'm delighted I did I only kept that booking because I had made it months before and having a session with her was too much of an opportunity to miss. Out of work just equates to out of sessions (unless you are the UK or US governments and then you would have spent the money anyway)....Rant over.

My anticipation for my return session is great. Before my accident it would be safe to say I was over sessioning and my backside had turned to leather, well it's not now and it's going to hurt. I could chose a progression session, ie hand spanking, leather paddle, hairbrush then cane or I could just let my disciplinarian chose. Either way I think I'll opt for the strict wife scenario.

And there is who to choose to do it ? I could go to my old favourite and although it would be remarkably painful it would also be a known quantity and an easy return or should I really bite the bullet and book a session with someone entirely new. If I do I hope they won't mind tears. I don't enjoy watersports with my regular London Mistress and I do fancy being below the golden fountain so that might help me decide and as I stated a few months back I really still desire to meet one exceptional Domme to see exclusively. It's time really to have just one Ma'am.

As my backside has healed and is soft again I'll probably have to wear the rubber shorts for the cane as I'll cut within a few strokes otherwise. It's always been a problem for me and was the best thing about over sessioning, it was lovely during the last few months not having to wear those. I did however notice that the strokes hurt more in the rubber pants. I think it's a combination of the Domme caning very hard because they feel they can and the fact that the rubber pants keep the sting in. However I still prefer without.

I can't wait to jump back into the pool and if things work out and the money comes in then it shouldn't be too long.

As always any comments or suggestions welcome.

Monday, 25 June 2012

12 before work (fiction story)

In my continuing absents from sessions I thought I'd write another addition to the Jill and Steve series. I hope you enjoy it.

12 Before Work.

Steve awaited the 12th stroke, he couldn't prepare himself for it as he was shaking, he's knees were weak and he was doing all he could to keep his hands on the chair and his feet on the ground, he was overtly crying and whimpering and only his fear of this forthcoming 12th stroke was greater than his trembling. A blind swish of the cane caused him to brace but no contact came, then silence; and then anything but silence as Steve howled at full volume as the last stroke struck directly and deeply into the sit spot, tears flooded from Steve as he slumped over the chair.

10 hours earlier:-
The journey home had been in silence, Steve knew he had been way out of line, he had argued and humiliated Jill at their friends house and he knew what was coming. Jill however was angry, extremely angry and in her opinion far too angry so as they entered the house she said to Steve

you're sleeping in the spare room tonight

Steve replied can I.....

but they were the only two words he got out before Jill snapped

I don't care what you do Steve just keep out of my way

Steve sulked off to the spare room, he had never had sleep in there before and he feared he had really pushed things too far.

Jill got into bed, she was a little disappointed with herself as the whole idea of this disciplinary lifestyle was to avoid long protracted arguments and silences, the problem though was she was far too angry to deal with Steve rationally. He had humiliated her beyond believe, she just didn't know what he was thinking of. She cried.

It was a long night for both of them. Steve was struck the inevitable regret one gets after such stupidity whilst Jill was kept awake trying to rationalise what had happened.

Eventually Jill woke up. She always got up showered first, then Steve would shower and prepare breakfast as Jill got ready for work as she had to leave earlier than him. Steve heard Jill finish in the shower and got up, Jill greeted him on the landing

Just shower, get downstairs and wait for me

Although the standard "punishment" command had not been used Steve knew what it meant and just replied

Yes Ma'am

Jill did not correct him, in fact she said nothing.

As Steve entered the front room nothing had been prepared, no spanking chair in place, no implements laid out. The ritual had not been preformed at all on Jill's part but he thought it best to face the wall as normal for his role in these events. Eventually Steve could here Jill coming down their wooden stairs, for some weird reason it struck Steve that Jill was already wearing her shoes, she normally puts those on just before she leaves, she hasn't even had breakfast yet.

Turn around Steve came Jill's command.

Steve could see her now, all dressed in a dark formal business dress. she as always looked immaculate. In her hand however she held the heavy cane and Steve just knew after last night that it would be a maximum 32 stroke cold caning coming his way.

Go and get the chair, put it the normal place and get bent over it. I don't want to hear one single word from you.

Steve did exactly as commanded and within 25 seconds he was in place with his backside ready to receive nothing less than it deserved, but first Jill addressed him

Firstly Steve I have an apology for you. I should have dealt with this last night but I didn't trust myself then to give you a measured and proportionate punishment. That said you're behaviour last night was beyond the pale and I intend to see you never do that again so brace yourself for 12 strokes.

12? Steve was delighted, she obviously can't be as annoyed as he thought she was. OK this will hurt like hell as all full force cold cane strokes do but at least it's only 12. Steve never watched Jill punish him, he found if he watched he flinched and then a hand or foot would come out of place and extra strokes would arrive. Steve slightly bowed his head and awaited his punishment.

A couple of blind swishes of the cane could be heard as Jill got the balance and feel of the implement and then swoosh; stroke 1. Steve yelped, the stroke had landed about two inches below the sit spot, it stung like crazy. Jill moved behind Steve to inspect the arriving welt.

Steve could feel Jill behind him, he thought her aim must be off because it was early. Jill stepped back and Steve braced himself.


The second stroke landed in exactly the same place, it was agony and the sting would not ebb away, he could hear Jill raise her arm for number 3 which landed with incredible force two inches above and directly in the sit spot, what was up with Jill's aim? Steve thought. then sanity returned as the 4th landed cleanly on the buttocks, painful yet bearable.

Jill waited a few seconds longer to allow Steve a misguided relieve before raising her arm and bringing the 5th stroke down full force onto the site of the first two strokes, Steve howled and she could hear the tears arriving. As Jill prepared for the 6th she could see Steve starting to shake a little however she showed no mercy as she brought down both stroke 6 and 7 directly into the sit spot. she placed stroke 8 firmly across the buttocks but only to give Steve another false hope. Now she intended to drive the lesson home. She wasn't off aim, far from it, she was getting these strokes exactly where she wanted and she was getting the results she wanted. She knew full well what Steve would think when she announced 12 strokes. Little did he know. stroke 8 returned full force to the sit spot

I told you not to speak, no is word, stick to screaming and crying please.

Her coldness was as deliberate as his nastiness last night. Jill eyed up the spot a couple of inches below the sit spot, it was red raw but it was to endure stroke 9 which was delivered with venom. Steve howled but after stroke 10 and 11 had alternated between the sit spot and the area below again he found himself crying profusely and shaking almost uncontrollably. This was a very painful punishment.

Jill waited a little while, she swished the cane through the air, she noticed Steve flinch at the noise of the blind stroke. She eyed the sit spot, raised the cane and swung it through the air bringing her wrist in for the perfect timed stroke, she saw all life drain out of Steve as he fell over the chair, he eventually slid to his knees. Jill approached and moved the chair to one side and stood in front of her husband. Steve wrapped his arms around Jill's waist and placed his head side on to the flatness of her abdomen. Jill just held him as he cried and said sorry over and over.

It's all OK Steve, we are even again. Jill reassured him.

Jill didn't need breakfast and left for work quickly, Steve decided to work from home, he knew he would be far too emotional for the office. The reminder would last a while, it wasn't just when he sat it was painful he could even feel it as he walked but it was fine by him, normality had returned in his life.

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Great clip

I rarely put clips on my bog mainly because I'm much more of a still photograph fan. I prefer to allow my imagination to interpret the photograph but this little gem ticks most of the boxes. Being English i can't help but feel she should have finished with a dose of the cane though.

Top marks to the sub here too. I've had many spankings of this nature and ferocity and i can tell you my rear end doesn't survive as well as his. I'd be black and blue.


Spanking Tube Your source for free Spanking and Bondage Videos Crime & Punishment - - Spanking Tube

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Spanking Verbals

Due to my recent injury I've not been in a position to have good spanking session. I'm desperate to feel the sting of the cane ! As I have no sessions to report on I thought I would share some of the memorable comments that have been made to me during the sessions over the years. When I recall sessions the scolding can burn in my memory as much as the pain. Here are a few.

If you fall off that stool I'll just start from the beginning again.

That was during my first ever "proper" session. I was in agony and well out of my comfort zone. The thought of starting again filled me with terror.

Lay on your back and open your mouth.

I had no interest at that time in watersports I also had no idea this was coming but I loved it and now I can't get enough of it. It all proved how stupid I was really. After the session I told my Domme that it was a surprising first for me and expressed how much I enjoyed it. She then referred me to the original advert that stated "suffer at xxxx's hands then drink up". OK I really should have worked it out.

You like that cane now don't you ?

I always here that comment in an Irish accent. This delightful Dublin lady noticed the point I was totally "in the zone" the point where you're lurching your backside out to greet the next stroke.

Have been caned by a left handed lady yet ?

It was at the start of my spanking odysseys and I hadn't been. I'm "evened out" these days but then having the strokes land on the other side was like my first session all over again.

This cane is the same thickness as the last, do you want to know why it hurts so much more.

At the point this line was delivered I was strapped down on a spanking bench. Ma'am crouched down in front of my face and explained the virtues of lacquered canes.

I don't know if you normally cry during a session but I aim to make you rather tearful today.

I do cry during a heavy punishment, this lady succeeded.

Now start masturbating.

I've heard this in many forms over the years. On the first occasion I was told to kneel before this lady and then the line was delivered. If a mistress ever wants to genuinely humiliate me then this is the way. I hate masturbating in front of Dommes. I once had to do it front of a Domme and her trainee. A very tearful event.

Right wooden spoon now, over you come.

I remember this so well because I had no idea how much they hurt. I found out.

Lets try the diaper position now.

I now love this position, my first time in this position was with an American Domme; very fitting.

I'm going to beat the shit out of this asshole.

I remember this because it was the worst session I've ever had. The statement was made from the Domme to her maid as I waited in the room. I hate foul language during a session. I like the Domme to ooze authority and class. She had neither.

40 strokes, 10 with each cane. you can chose the first cane.

This was great. This lady had the canes displayed horizontally on a board. i stood starring at the board with no idea of which cane to chose.

3 dragons

This is from the same session. After delivering the 10 strokes with my chosen cane this lady then placed 3 more canes in front of me whilst stating the above. They hurt.

I've saved my favourite to last. This line was delivered by a lady I have the up most respect for during our first session together;

I'll warn you now, this won't be at all easy for you today.

I was stood in the corner at the time, she wasn't wrong either.

I would love to hear some of yours, including Dommes, do you phrases you love to insert into a punishment ? Please comment.

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Fiction Story; Bad weekend, terrible Monday

Continuation of the Jill and Steve series.

Steve was not enjoying his Monday drive home, not just because it was Monday but because of the foul mood he had been in all over the weekend. He had ruined Jill's weekend and it was all for nothing as in the process he'd ruined his own too. He knew why. In January Jill had suggested a 24 orgasm a year regime to cull Steve's excessive masturbation. A game had been played where two days each month had been selected by a date draw. Today was the day.

Jill insisted that the first year Steve be locked in a chastity device, she was hoping that the second year he could control himself and an honour system would be in place. Steve's last orgasm was on April 17, it was a wonderful night of fantastic love making with Jill. The dates drawn for May were the 14th and 22nd and this was his longest period of abstinence thus far.

Saturday night had been too much for Steve, he begged Jill for sex, the truth was he didn't mind not masturbating but he wanted to make love to his beautiful wife more than 24 times a year. He even accused Jill of being selfish as she made him pleasure her orally whenever she felt in the mood. Steve found this frustrating and didn't accept Jill's explanation that she could control her desires while he would over use his sexuality by masturbating to excess and not enjoying the beauty of sex and orgasm. Jill didn't give in on Saturday night and told Steve to wait til Monday. The net result was a silent Sunday.

Reflecting on the weekend during his home commute Steve pondered as to why he hadn't been punished for his mood, not even a maintenance spanking. He knew release was coming tonight as Jill never used chastity as a punishment, far from it; it was to help him. He was really regretting his weekend mood as he thought it would be a real barrier in place for tonight's events.

Eventually Steve put the key in the door and entered gingerly, he approached Jill with a bunch of flowers and started to apologise but within two words Jill put her finger to his lips and said


Yes ma'am

In fact Steve couldn't get the words "yes ma'am" out of his mouth quick enough. He knew that a sound punishment would make him level with the house and normality could then reign. He knew he wouldn't enjoy it but that was the price he'd have to pay for his Sunday childishness.

As required after the "punishment" word Steve quickly showered and returned downstairs, he walked past the chair which had the heavy hairbrush on it and placed his nose against the wall. This wasn't going to be pleasant.

Ok get over my knees, don't waste time.

Steve almost ran into position.

You have a very hard hairbrush spanking coming your way, you know you deserve it. Now brace yourself.

Jill got to work. The first six blows struck 3 on one side the 3 on the other. Within six strokes Steve was in agony both sides of his rear instantly at the limit. The next six struck lower where the backside meets the legs, again 3 and 3. He laid across her legs sniffling as this pattern of twelve continued over and over until Jill paused.

What really bothers me Steve is that if you didn't have the chastity device on I swear you would have sneaked off and masturbated. I need to see a lot more control for the rest of this year to even consider removing it next year. At the moment young man it doesn't look good for you. Brace yourself.

The next reign of terror followed no pattern, Jill simply struck where she desired. This made it impossible for Steve to settle into a pattern and so the sniffling turned into outward crying.

Go to the wall and take a break, I'm not finished with you yet.

Yes ma'am

Steve approached the wall, he could here the cupboard door opening. Was Jill getting another implement ? If so this was unusual as normally the implements would already be on the chair. Steve waited until eventually;

Get yourself bent over the back of this chair, I'm going to cane you.

Whilst Steve could not see his own backside he knew it must already be red raw, this was going to be hell.

I was only going to hairbrush spank you Steve but as tonight is so important I want all the demons out of the way. You will receive 24 strokes, as normal your hands and feet will remain firmly in place or we will repeat that stroke. Understand ?

Yes Ma'am


Swish, the first stroke landed low, very low almost on the legs and Steve stood bolt upright.

You must be stupid. As both hands left the chair that stroke doesn't count so I'll add two, that's one extra for each hand. You will learn how much you ruined my weekend Steve, Now bend over. 26 to come.

Steve returned to the position. In the end there were 28 strokes to endure, two minor foot movements being enough for Jill to add extras, all the strokes were powerful and only a few seconds apart, crying had turned to howling and after the final stroke he found himself on his knees crying profusely. Jill approached and put her arms around Steve and said;


It was done, Ma'am had become Jill again.

Thank you for the flowers Steve they are beautiful.

They went to bed that night, the love making was outstanding. Tuesday was going to be a great day.

Thursday, 29 March 2012

A session with Dana Kane

I've recently been badly injured and if I'm honest I actually thought that I may never session again and I thought this blog had seen it's last post but the human body is a wonderful thing and I've made an almost full recovery.

Way back since December I've had booked an appointment with Ms Dana Kane. This week she was in the UK and I was well enough to fulfil my obligation and receive a very sore backside.

As readers of this blog well know I never name the Domme, however I've been given direct permission from Ms Kane to reveal. I'm not going to give a blow by blow account, I'm sure better writers have already done that.

It was great to experience the different approach taken by an American disciplinarian. I've often found in the UK that OTK is used more as a warm up for the big event; the cane. With Ms Kane however the OTK and punishment administered whilst laying on the bed was very much the main stay of the show. The other interesting experience was the shear area this wonderful lady covered, she deemed that she owned the punishment Zone and this Zone started almost where the buttocks meet the lower back, then stretched as wide as the hip bone and so low that it was literally the tops of the legs. I'm not saying I've never been struck in these areas before but never with such continuous intensity, it just didn't stop. The hairbrush pictured above was used extremely effectively, as you can see it's not a huge brush but it's deadly and Ms Kane loves to administer this brush in the soft area where the crease of your buttocks starts to meet your legs, the bruising I have there now is quite something to behold.

The implement being held by Ms Kane above was beyond doubt the most painful, not just because it is a superbly crafted paddle but because the way it was administered. I was laying on the bed with a pillow raising my buttocks and Ms Kane was at my feet striking forward and sideways. The far end of this torturous paddle was kissing the extremities of my flank and then striking the tops of my legs with the tip landing firmly in the "sit spot". I was literally biting a pillow and twisting fiercely to get through that part of my punishment.

I love the cane and this session ended with a dozen superbly accurate strokes, two of which are perfectly lined in the "sit spot" I'm enjoying them as I write this. I could have stayed all day receiving cane strokes and in a normal UK session I normally take a minimum of 80 but this session was American style and parts of my behind were truly woken up and new nerve ending saw the light. It was wonderful, it was different and when Ms Kane hits our shores again why don't you give her a try; only DON'T TAKE MY SPOT.

Thank you Ms Kane and thank you for the kind permission to name you. I know it frustrates some of readers that I don't normally put a name to a spank.

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

My Hard hairbrush spanking

Just over a week ago I booked and attended my Hard hairbrush spanking. I had the idea nagging inside my head ever since a wonderful lady had posted a few free pictures from her website on Twitter depicting such a scenario. I just had to succumb to this too, so I chose a Domme I've had the pleasure to be punished by many times before. I never top from the bottom and I always allow my Domme to discipline me as she See's fit, this always makes for a better session.However this time I did have a requirement though I presented it as a suggestion. She laughed and said "don't worry we'll sort you out." I was set.

As Ma'am entered room all I could hear was the clipping of high heals and the placing of implements onto a table. My nose was pressed against the wall, the position I was instructed to be. The scolding began, I was being berated for a lack of obedience and I could feel the fear building inside of me, I was instructed to follow her commands without hesitation and to the letter. I was asked if I understood; there was only one answer "yes Ma'am". I was instructed to turn around which I did swiftly. Ma'am explained that she only had 4 implements today, two tawse and two wooden Hairbrushes. I viewed them. The two tawse couldn't have been more different; one was wide, black and relatively new the other was old, it looked like it was once tan in colour but now darkened from years of installing discipline to the unruly; it's two tails had a gap of about half an inch between them and each tail was a quarter inch square of leather. I had experienced this very implement across my palms before, I didn't like it then, today would prove to be no different.

I placed my right hand in front of me, flat as instructed. I was informed it would be 6 strokes on each hand; the wide newish tawse was first into action, the first stroke stung, the second stung more, the third hurt, the forth hurt more, the fifth was agony and after the sixth I couldn't get my hand back to my side quick enough. Big mistake. "did I tell you to put your hand down?" no she hadn't and I was informed to put my hand back out for an extra stroke. The same was repeated on my left hand, cruelly including the extra seventh stroke. I stood there with my fingers as wide apart as I could get them desperately trying to relieve the pain as Ma'am explained that I was to receive a further six to each palm with the second tawse and that it might be wise to listen and keep it to just six. Good advice too, as the first stroke hit my right hand my hip shot to the left forming a kind of C shape to my body, "keep straight"....."yes Ma'am". At the end my hands were throbbing and my voice had moved up a pitch. I was lost now to the outside world, the only thing that mattered was obeying this lady's commands and accepting this punishment.

"Get over my knee this instance" came the command. It came within two seconds of the last tawse stroke and my disciplinarian had only just sat down as the last word left her mouth. I did this kind of silly one step run as if to really emphasise I was hurrying. I was told to only have my toes on the ground and to place my weight onto my hands. I adjusted forward on her lap and my hands were in sudden agony as they compressed to the floor. The hairbrush spanking started, I was more use to this kind of punishment and settled into a cycle of spank followed by an inward grunt from me but it went on and on  and it started to become really uncomfortable and grunts became small yelps. Eventually the order to stand up came, I was relieved, all I wanted was a couple of minutes facing the wall. No such luck, not for this naughty boy.
I was instantly instructed to go and sit on the edge of a table, I knew what was coming, I had been here before. The instruction to lay back followed, I reclined then raised my legs without needing to be told, it was pointless fighting this, that did at least earn me a "good boy". Ma'am then pushed against my ankles and proceeded to hairbrush spank me. The blows were landing low on my buttocks and very high up on my legs, I couldn't settle into a rhythm the pain was too great and I was quite audibly whining. My head was against the wall and thus pushed forward leaving me no option but to watch. Unlike over the knee you know exactly when each spank will land. I closed my eyes in an attempt to prevent it. This amused my tormentor, she laughed and said "oh no, eyes open you".

Eventually I was told to stand, then she tapped my head and said "are you here with me". This question surprised me and I've spent nearly a fortnight now pondering over it because I couldn't have been more with her, she had captivated me, I was deep in sub zone. I thought it was obvious I was with her. She then instructed me to put out my right hand, she said it would be two strokes on each hand and so the tawse was back in action. After the first two strokes I kept my hand fully out. "good" she said "were getting somewhere".

With another four tawse strokes laid on there was no rest, no facing the wall time, I was ordered back over her knee, sore hands back on the floor then back in the diaper position and this cycle kept repeating itself only broken by a switch to the denser of the two hairbrushes. After a while I stood up from having been punished with legs high in the air, simply praying it was over, surely time was up, I could take no more but then that's not punishment and Ma'am ordered one more OTK followed by one more diaper position spanking and both were prolonged and how I howled.

Eventually the session was over and it was time to dry my eyes from the tears and face the mirror. Oh dear, the normal spanking area of my behind was a dark red with a very distinctive mauve circle on the right cheek and a smaller but as equally angry one centered on my left buttock. The lower half of my backside was a purple bruised mess extending to the very top of my legs. After getting dressed I noticed as I walked I could feel every step in the crease between leg and rump. This was going to be with me for a while.

Well I asked for it I suppose.

Next up is a school scene in a couple of weeks. I've got it in my head that I would like to be in a CP video/film too so I may research that

Friday, 20 January 2012

Future plans.

Well as promised I had my fun session and fun it was too. I attended an open day with two Dommes in attendance and 3 naughty subs for them to play with. One guy was away being tied up and secured in a rubber bag from what I gather, not my thing but eh, I'm sure he enjoyed it. That left two of us to be tormented in the dungeon. It was a great light hearted two hours. Just what I needed.

So to the future and my pervy little mind is back in overdrive. Some pictures that were kindly posted on twitter by a wonderful lady got my little grey cells thinking about the power of the hairbrush and so this evening I have a 30 minute strict hairbrush spanking booked with my favourite London disciplinarian. I know this will hurt. This lady is severe. I hope I get those target like bruises on each cheek. I'll blog about it next week.

Next up is an hour long School scenario booked with the two ladies who ran the open day. They are having a school day, one of them is to be the Headmistress and the other the head prefect. My money says the head prefect isn't the sweet little honest angel the Headmistress thinks she is. Well I plan to tell the Headmistress all about her. Wonder if she'll see it my way!!!

Oh yes I've been busy. Late in March I have a session booked with a visiting American disciplinarian. I only discovered her work a couple of months back but since then I've been a fan. I am really looking forward to her visit. Now they say American Dommes can't cane. Bet there wrong.

Well that's about it on the planning front other than I have started communicating on twitter with a young Domme just outside of London and I may well approach her to see if there is a possibility of a session. Oh I'll fit it in somewhere.

The problem is, I just don't like sitting comfortably.

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

UK Obscenity Trial

I'm a worrier, if the London 2012 Olympics staged it as an event I would get gold. I worry about the world and the direction it going, I worry about freedom and liberty but high on my concern lists stands freedom of expression; to live my life how I want. I don't mind people passing judgement or opinion, that's to be expected in a free society but I do mind those that wish to prevent my lifestyle and in particular when they try to use legislation.

Last week saw a court room battle in London, the material discussed in court was so sexually explicit that only the bravest Radio station dared to broadcast it's details.

The story was fed virtually live from the courtroom to Twitter; something that has only just been permitted in the UK. Some people believed this trial to be a landmark defence of sexual freedom. I won't give you a blow by blow account but I will supply a link at the end to the trial itself.

In my opinion Britain has a problem at the moment, it has too many laws and too few examples. We are constantly writing up new laws when old ones already exist. We are debating and making too many laws because of alleged 3rd party harm. Currently our government is debating a minimum price on alcohol to stem drinking related problems, however the massive, huge, overwhelming majority of people manage to drink without smashing a shop window or ending up in hospital. people with drink problems do need help though not everyone else should have to suffer. This is just one of many examples where the "if and maybe" are being brought onto the statute books.

This latest trial revolved around what some would describe as the extremes of homosexual activities. All of which were 100% consensual. I'm not gay but this could have as easily been a trial about CP/BDSM activities, I believe watersports was mentioned. If my our activities became illegal in the UK we could end up as vilified as a rapist. It is often argued that extreme pornography leads to worse things; and so here we go again, wanting to ban something because of the harm it may do. 1000's of people die from falling downstairs, shall we ban multi level buildings. of course not. I can't stand the computer game Grand Theft Auto,I wish it had never been created; I swear blind it causes a minority to behave in such an abhorrent manner; but do I want it banned? Absolutely not and why? because the massive majority play it without going out to commit street crime.

The vast majority of my readers are from the USA and I know you guys sometimes struggle with British/European liberalism, though I guess if you read these kind of blogs maybe not. I served my country for many years and for me liberalism is essential if you want a non bigoted society.

I had already written a rant about this trial prior to the verdict and saved it to drafts because I was convinced a guilty verdict was on its way, it was about 2000 words, never have I been so pleased to have deleted something. The verdict was not guilty. 12 men good and true saw through the haze to understand we are free to act as we please. It has revived my faith in British justice.

However challenges will come again as those who do not understand will cling to all sorts of 3rd party harm angles to get their way. What I say to them is; if it's 100% consensual then it must be !00% legal. Remember, I don't want to ban cross-stitch !

Find trial info here

Monday, 2 January 2012

Submissiveness and Me

Submission to me is a beautiful place, it’s a comfort zone, and it’s a safe place, even if my backside and hands sting like hell. I feel I belong, that I’m not on the outside of life looking in. It isn't a place where I have no worries or concerns because I’m troubled greatly because I wish to please the person who has taken me there but despite all its qualities its wonders mystify me.

Submissiveness means many different  things to many  people, everyone’s ones perception will be different, some will differ slightly and others will be poles apart. For example I don’t like the worthless male angle; I’m not useless I’m just sexually and domestically submissive. However some male submissives will need to feel worthless to get into the submissive Zone. The thought of being cuckold actually makes me feel sad but as with every aspect of any consensual fetish I have nothing against those guys, in fact the complete opposite, go for it if it’s what makes you feel complete.

I exclusively use the services of the professional Dominatrix to venture into my submissiveness. It’s no secret on this blog that I would like to be in a female led relationship however as I’ve stated in previous posts I have totally given up trying to find it. Being a male submissive is not easy, normal relationships are difficult, I have a broken marriage, two cohabited relationships and a string of short term partners behind me and nearly all of these failed because of my lack of ability to conform to the male in charge stereotype. Only once did I ever speak of my desires to a partner and the results were only just short of personal Armageddon.... Won’t do that again!

My own lifestyle doesn’t help much either. I have two jobs, my main job is very male orientated but flexible which allows me time to pursue my part time career which is very rewarding however absolutely nobody in my social circle knows about. It’s not secret work or anything sexy like that It, It’s just something I’ve kept for me.  My social life is way too macho for its own good. Couple all of that with my past and you’ll see it doesn’t exactly put me in the shop window as a typical submissive. So it is obvious why I’ve only ever expressed my submissiveness via professional Domme/disciplinarians.
Over the last 29 years my submissiveness has changed, dare I say matured. The early years were highly sexually charged, that slowly mellowed until I reached a point about 6 years ago when I thought I understood my own nature. A London Domme who I regularly visit will spank paddle and cane me to a point where she has captivated me totally, where I am broken, I’m simply hers, and she could do whatever she wishes with me at that point. It’s a wonderful point, I feel safe, I feel looked after, a paradox that only us in this fetish (I hate that word) would understand. The only  downside is  it’s  always at the end of the session and therefore doesn’t last long. I can achieve  similar feelings with other Dommes and I do enjoy visiting other Dommes but this lady had the edge. However  a new disciplinarian entered via stage left and everything changed.

When I visit a Domme for the first time I am without exception nervous but then from the next visit on I’m not. I had no reason to expect this not to be the case when in October 2010 I visited a new disciplinarian for the first time, however on my second visit to this lady I noticed I was far more nervous than at our initial meeting and this continued over a few more sessions up to and including Decembers meeting. I started to notice that my total submissiveness was almost instant and for our last two meetings it was absolutely instant. It was wonderful. I felt safe, I felt looked after, I was eager to please, I wanted to show my gratitude to someone who made feel so beautifully submissive from the outset. I know I had paid money for this and the cost isn’t something I’m in a position to be dismissive of but it was like the cost and my submission were not connected. Anyone who regularly reads this blog will be all too aware that any price paid for Decembers encounter was an absolute irrelevance. I’ve spent ages now trying to work out what is so different, why was this lady's approach  so captivating to me. Sure she is attractive, I would go as far to say stunning but I’ve sessioned with many attractive dommes so it couldn’t be that.She canes hard and uncompromisingly but I’ve met others too that do. Well I have now finally worked it out, I’ve finally placed the last piece of the jigsaw, I’ve got it, I get it now, I know what makes me crumble, but I’m afraid that’s staying with me for now. I want to enjoy the knowledge solo for a while.
So I’ve arrived at perfection, the journey is over, I’ve found the Domme. I never thought I would ever get to a point where I would say “that is the only disciplinarian I will visit from now” well I have, but there is a catch and life is far from perfect because alas this wonderful lady is no longer doing sessions. Yep how’s your luck?

I know for certain this lady would not want me to dwell on this and that I should look forward. It took decades to finally arrive at a submissive nirvana and now my search must start again, though this time I know what I’m looking for. I’m not ready for deep emotional sessions again yet and I need to have some fun with CP on my next outing.
After that the search will begin but I bet I drink a lot of cava before I discover champagne again and when I do I doubt I’ll match the vintage.