Sunday, 18 December 2011

Fiction Story

I've had a dreadful weekend and feel really low so I've written this little story to try and lift me a bit. Hope you enjoy it but please remember that Charles Dickens I ain't;


We arrived home from the new years eve party at about 3am, I would like to have stayed longer but Jill wanted to come home. I love my married life and I always obey Jill so home we went. When we got home Jill told me to go and take a shower and meet her in the bedroom, now this confused me a bit because if I'm ever to be punished I have to shower and then wait facing the wall in our living room. This always starts with Jill simply saying "punishment" I reply "yes Ma'am" I then shower, wait facing the wall, receive my punishment then hear the word "over" then Ma'am becomes Jill again. So what was this ? I hadn't heard the word "punishment " so I just said "ok Jill". She did not berate me so I knew I wasn't in trouble.

I entered the bedroom wearing a dressing gown, Jill was sat on the end of the bed, she had two bags next to her, one was definitely the scrabble game bag which holds the letters the other was a small black silk like bag. She also had a notepad and a pen. Jill smiled beautifully and started to speak softly.

"Steve take your dressing gown off and kneel before me please"
I complied, I was a little confused. Although we live in a female led marriage we also have equality as it's corner stone, I'm a submissive husband not a slave but I found myself kneeling before Jill, looking into the eyes of a Mistress like lady above.

"give me your hands Steve"
I held them forward and she clasped them softly,
"I want an honest answer to this please Steve. How often do you masturbate ?"
I had no intention of not being truthful so I replied
"about 5 times a week Jill"
"do you not think that is excessive ?" she replied
"I suppose it is Jill" was the best reply I could muster.
"have you ever masturbated on the same day as we have make love?"
"yes Ma'am" I blurted
"you don't have to call me Ma'am Steve, you're not in anyway in trouble, in fact I'm going to help you greatly this year"
She continued "you must find sex with me less enjoyable having masturbated earlier surely ?"
"yes of course Jill" I replied.

Jill continued to hold my hands and softly lecture me saying that I was over using my own sexuality to the point it was mundane and that delayed gratification always felt better. She quickly worked out that I was having 250 plus orgasms a year and that needed to be cut drastically to about 24. She started to tell me the plan.

Jill opened the black bag and placed the item on the bed, It was a plastic chastity device and said,

"now as always Steve you don't have to do this but I would like you to start wearing this device"
"of course Jill" came my reply. I could see this lady cared and I felt loved.
" now I'm going to restrict you to 2 orgasms a month, I expect that be will with us making love but if it's the wrong time then I shall do it for you or I may have you masturbate as I watch"
"ok Jill" I replied

Jill the explained the scrabble bag. She had stuck numbers on the letter tiles, the numbers 1 to 28. I was to pick two numbers for each month and these were to be the release days. Clearly there was to be no relief on the 29th, 30th and 31st of each month.

"ok Steve lets start with January, pick out two tiles"
I came up with 11 and 18
"so your first orgasm is will be the 11th of January followed by another on the 18th, now put those numbers back and lets get on with February"

This continued through the twelve months with Jill recording every date on the notepad. The most alarming period was June and July because I picked the !st and 3rd of June followed by the 24th and 28th of July. September and October were not much better either, they had a 4 week plus period of abstinence too.

Jill, armed with all the dates stated to outline some other rules.

"I'm controlling your orgasms because you can't or won't look after yourself. I can control my sexual needs and when I feel the need for sexual comfort you will selflessly comply and satisfy me please"
Jill continued,
"I will not be using chastity as a punishment tool, the hairbrush, tawse and cane will remain my tools of punishment. This is not punishment, it's encouragement. You will get release on those dates regardless of any other issues. Next year we might be able to set the dates and work on trust but for now we will need the chastity device"

Jill went on to say that I might have wet dreams and that I'm not to worry if I do and that I should tell her and that it would not count against me at all. She mentioned supervised washing and how the device may take some getting used to. Then she said,

"when did you last masturbate ?"
"actually Jill it was over 2 days ago" I almost pleaded
"don't worry I believe you she replied, ok you may masturbate now"

Despite my love for Jill I have never found this easy, it's a little humiliating and I haven't done it often but I did it and after I orgasmed Jill told me to go and wash that area thoroughly and return. Jill took over again.

"stand in front of me please" she said, softly but with purpose.

Jill started to fit the device, it seemed to take forever, choosing the back ring seemed to be the main issue but eventually that noise rang out, the noise of the padlock clicking shut. A triumphant Jill spoke.

"now Steve I think I would like some new year pleasure too."
 Jill stood up and dropped her dress, her nakedness already prepared, she then lay back on the bed. I placed my head between her legs. 2012 had begun.

Monday, 12 December 2011

One week on

So one week on from possibly one of the most emotional events of my life I ask, where next ?
What's happened ? Have I reached the end of the road, am I at square 100 of the snakes and ladders board with no where else to go, or am I only at the very start of the next level ? Have I only just discovered the true power of CP and experienced what one of the best professionals can achieve when you are genuinely carrying guilt.

I don't know is the simple answer, I've spent a week analysing it and all I know is that it was truly helpful to me, plus it went beyond it's remit and gave me some clarity on other issues in my life. I know I still feel very humble, a grown man literally crying on a ladies shoulder would do that, but it was what was needed. I didn't know that but the consummate professional who guided me through did.

I know I will session again in the future, it's deep in my psyche. In fact I have a session booked for the spring with a visiting American lady, but I'm not ready yet, not even close. Yesterday I went to the London Fetish fair and although the place was full of like minded lovely people, I personally wasn't in the zone. If I never had a session again I would be safe in the knowledge that my final experience was perfection. I didn't enjoy it, I wasn't supposed to.

I know not everyone is the same and we all react differently but if anyone is thinking of putting themselves through this then I say go for it, but remember this, it doesn't end with the final stroke, in fact to quote part of a Churchill speech I would say it's just the beginning of the end. The soul searching afterwards is immense. My next piece of advice I strongly recommend. Make sure a hug is available at the end. I would not have thought it necessary in a million years but when i got up from the bench I felt frightened but comforting and reassuring arms were around me before I could know. Also it is vital you trust your Domme because you are handing over to them not just your body but also your emotions.

I don't know what other negative emotions can be helped. After my disgraceful binge eat tonight when I'm supposed to be losing weight maybe it could help there. However that's all for another time

Tuesday, 6 December 2011


Yesterday I made good on my promise and received my Judicial/severe punishment for a real life event. I'm not sure what I was going to write about it on this blog. I suppose I thought I would give a blow by blow account but I'm sorry I can't.
This blog doesn't have many readers but those that do may think I'm letting down the ethos of this blog and to you guys I apologise.
The problem is that yesterdays events were so deeply personal and incredibly emotional. At the outset I didn't expect that but in the event I was taken somewhere I didn't know existed.
I have little doubt some of you have been there and you guys must understand why I can write no more about it.
I will write again on more light hearted aspects of this life in a week or so but that will definitely be the last session of this year and probably a couple of months until I'm ready