Friday, 21 December 2012

Criticism of "The importance of oral servitude"

When I created this blog some two years ago I did so hoping to create debate. To be honest I never achieved that aim.  It's probably a combination of my lack of literary skills and that this blog is mainly read by like minded people. I do receive e-mails that are sometimes abusive but no real argument based in them other than "I'm evil and won't go to heaven" or "I'm a disgrace to the male race"

I think all blog writers enjoy receiving comments on their posts, I'm no exception. I don't get many comments and I have not as yet had a challenging one, until now. Below is a comment left after I wrote "The importance of oral servitude"

                   "Regarding this - "It is rare to find a Domme who will insist you pleasure her orally"
and this -
"Ladies, if you're reading this and your man has been coming up short then show him this and push his head down."
Do you actually account for the fact at all that some Ladies simply do not like receiving oral service?
Don't assume what every woman likes, just because it is part of your fantasy.Don't presume to know what we all want, and do not tell us what we should do.

It would have been nice if this hadnt have been posted anonymously, anonymity lessens an argument, I don't expect a real name. I cyber identity like mine would have done. However I will try to reply.

"It is rare to find a Domme who will insist you pleasure her orally"
and this -

I fully understand the reasons why Dommes, and remember I was referring to Pro Dommes don't offer this service and those reasons go way beyond wether they like receiving oral or not. I made it very clear that I have never asked for this service from a pure Pro Domme. I never will.

"Ladies, if you're reading this and your man has been coming up short then show him this and push his head down."

This sentence never stereotyped all women as loving receiving oral service. If a lady does not enjoy oral then she would never have considered that her man was coming up short in this area. It certainly was not telling you what you should do. It was meant to be tongue in cheek really. It most certainly was not telling you what to do, no more than "brush your teeth with Colgate". If you don't like Colgate you won't. 

You only have to read my blog to know that I never assume that any one body of people will all like the same things. My love of CP has been with me all my life and I have subsequently learned that I greatly enjoy other aspects of BDSM play. However I wouldn't like adult baby play, I don't have a foot tetish, cuckholdery saddens me, needle play terrofies me and scat and smoking play makes me want to vomit. However as I consistently say, if you enjoy these and it's consensual then great. I think no different regarding oral servitude. When I say the importance of oral servitude I mean in regards to myself.

Don't assume what every woman likes, just because it is part of your fantasy

I don't. In fact that's all this blog is. A chronical of my fantasies. Even when I'm telling a tale of a real session I never lose sight of the fact that all I did was live out a fantasy.  Only once have I ever offered myself up for a real un-pleasant experience and even that was selfish as it was to rid myself of guilt. 

I'm not anyone's real slave, no Domme loves me, in fact I wouldn't mind betting that many don't even like me. There have been only two Mistresses/disciplinarians who I've just handed total control over to and both of them in the last 14 months but even that is not real slavery is it ? Neither of them would do an act to me that I absolutely despised. I know some submissives thrive on the slave angle and would literally do anything Mistress asked but the Domme knows that from the outset.

Again one only has to read some of my postings to know how tuned in I am to the fantasy angle. Remember I'm the guy that questions if FLRs truly exist, as opposed to like minded people thoroughly enjoying a fetish together. That's why when I read FLR blogs I don't care if they are real or not.

I kept my post " The importance of oral servitude" in my draft file for months. I was always reluctant to post it because I thought it might be a bit distasteful ( excuse the pun ) but this blog is a reflection of my desires. Oral servitude is one of them.

In a nut shell, I know not all women like oral and I don't assume otherwise. I'm fully aware I feed my fantasies via this blog.


Anonymous said...

My wife won't make love to me without first taking me over her knee. It is her form of foreplay that we call fiveplay. After she strips me and takes me over her knee she I have to thank her and she then puts me on my back on our bed and has me pay homage to her hiney with kisses, licking and biting. She then mounts me in a 69 position to our mutual satisfaction. markee

Lady Koregan said...

Hm, well you are quite right, it is your blog and your fantasy.

But I can see where Dommes might object a bit.

We really don't like being told what we should want.

The problem is many submissives, not necessarily you, mind you, but many out there, approach it from completely the wrong angle.

It seems like something a Domme "should" want, or at least a Lifestyle Domme should. But some don't.

Why? Well in my case I find it entirely too passive. I'm a Domme, what gets me going is the power and control. Simply lying or sitting there doesn't feel like being in control, no matter how good it feels. I prefer being the agressor, the one moving and doing. I want to take what I want, not lie back and wait for someone to give it to me.

I suspect I am not the only one who feels that way...

And yet, when we say we don't like it, many well intended would be subs will, very repsectfully, patiently, lovingly, try to explain away our distaste or try to convice us why we "should", as if it's something about us that needs "fixing".

And often, they will cite articles such as yours to back up their argument, whether that is how you intended your words or not.

So yes, we do cringe when we see anything related to the topic, not because you have an opinion so much as because we know how the less informed may interpret it.

But don't let that stop you from carrying on. The more clear you are in your views and what you need, the easier it will be for you to someday find a match.

Just be ready to be flexible in some of your absolutes once the real thing is presented to you.

~Lady Koregan

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